Farewell 2018, It’s been nice knowing you

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And suddenly you know, it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings….

I love New Year’s Eve.. It’s time for new beginnings and I’ve always loved new beginnings.. When I was at school, I loved getting books ready for the new year.. A fresh exercise book was an opportunity to write something special.  As much as I’ve shifted too much, once I shift into a new place, I love the chance to start a whole new home.  And I love shopping at second hand stores because it’s cheaper to start all over again with a  new look.

It’s not about the newness.. It’s about the opportunities.  And a new year brings new opportunities.  I don’t often go out on new years as I love to hunker down and start my new diary.  I write my goals for the new year and plans on how to bring those goals to fruition.  I write my lifetime goals, then break them down into yearly goals.. then break them down again to monthly goals.. Of course they don’t always work out but I feel like just thinking about them, helps me to achieve more.

This year I won’t be staying home but hopefully when I do get home, I’ll find time to at least start my list.  I don’t call them resolutions as I think    we are programmed to break them.. But my goals, I’m more likely to try to achieve.

2018 has been a bit of a mixed bag.. I guess the thing that most affected my life was being diagnosed with cancer, but while it’s affected me, it doesn’t define me.  Treatment is finished.. I feel great, though I still tire easily and I am grateful to be on the mend.

The things that DO define me are my children and grandchildren.  They are my purpose.. They are my crown.  I’ve been very let down by most of my extended family this year. There have been one or two who have kept in touch, but it’s been over six months since I heard from any of my sisters.  It has been upsetting but I think I’ve FINALLY accepted that I just don’t fit in.  But I have my children, grandchildren and chosen children, as we;; as the tiny few who have supported me.  I am blessed.  I have made my own family and it’s more than I could ever have imagined.

So 2019 is an opportunity to pick my crown up, place it firmly on my head and get moving.  I have so much to do.  Every year I feel a deeper sense of urgency to create the legacy I want to leave and, I guess like most people heading up to 60, I feel the pressure of time.  It feels fantastic to know that I’m on the path I need to be on though, so that spurs me onto greater things.

I have been very negligent of this blog in 2018 and I hope to rectify that in 2019.  This blog was the beginning of this whole journey for me.  Writing out my feelings has made me a much healthier person.  We need to talk, write, sing, create… whatever it is we do, so that we can work through the hardships of life.  So somewhere near the top of my list of goals is to write more often on here.  Not daily as I used to when I first started but hopefully weekly.

I wish you and yours a blessed and safe new year.  May 2019 bring many opportunities your way and may you feel secure enough to grasp those opportunities in both hands and go running with them.  Kick some goals.. Make some changes.. Love yourself.  We all deserve the best.

Happy New Year….. Livvy xxxx

nye what are you left with is hope

 

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