I’m running the gamut of emotions right now.  I have just received news that a blog  I wrote a while ago has been awarded Outstanding Advocacy Blog.  The blog was Don’t just wear a white ribbon and was written on White Ribbon Day here in Australia.  White Ribbon speaks out against domestic violence.  If you’ve read my earlier post Empty Arms you’d know that today is my daughter Aimee’s 28th birthday.  I say IS, because, although she died when she was only 10, we’ve celebrated her birthday every year so she has aged along with my two beautiful sons.

Aimee died as a result of a car crash on an access visit.  Her father had threatened numerous times to put all 3 of our children in a car and kill them if I didn’t take him back so I refuse to call it an accident.  While the pain has definitely eased over the years, the grief is still strong and I miss her with every inch of my soul.  My sons gave me a reason to stay here on this earth and I am so proud of them, I can’t even put it into words.

They are strong, loving and compassionate young men who have risen from such a tragedy and been determined to make the way they live their  lives a tribute to their sister. I am constantly amazed by them.  They have loved me when I’ve been  unlovable and are just my biggest supporters and fans.  I am very blessed indeed.

To the Aust Writer’s Centre, a big thank you.  To win a writing prize is just fantastic, especially for a novice, but to win it for the piece that was the hardest to write, about an issue that has torn our lives apart is such an honor.  To win it on my daughter’s birthday is another of those blessings that the universe sometimes throws our way to show us that there is a bigger picture even if we can’t see it right now.

Thank you to my friends and family who have supported me and lifted me up when I could barely put one foot in front of the other.  The kindness, support and generosity I have been shown over the years means more to me than people could ever realise.  I don’t thank you all enough for all you have been to me.  And to my readers who take the time to read my ramblings and to comment and to share.. thank you.  You have made me feel like I have a purpose again.

I started this  blog to try to get myself into a habit of writing so I could finally put Aimee’s story into print.  She always wanted her voice heard and finally after 18 years I feel strong enough to do that but I was struggling to put pen to paper to tell it.  This blog has helped me get into a habit of writing and hopefully within the next year, Aimee’s Voice may be somewhere near completion and in need of a publisher.  Only then will I feel I have helped her tell her story. When dealing with the family law court decisions that the kids never had a say in, she used to say to me.. “Mum.. one day I will have my voice heard”…. Now’s the time kiddo..

Happy Birthday …. Mum (Livvy) xxx