This really is a completely unpaid testimonial for the humble ice block called a Zooper Dooper.. I would like to be able to say no Zooper Doopers were injured in the making of this story but unfortunately, I can’t.. Many were sacrificed for the good of the story.
I’ve fallen in love. Maybe it’s my second childhood coming to get me way too soon, but I am completely in love with Zooper Doopers. I don’t know if they are in other countries or if indeed, they are the same name as they are here in Australia, but what I speak about is a little plastic tube of frozen cordial in a variety of flavours.
Let’s clear one thing up immediately. I HATE SUMMER! I don’t cope well in the heat. I was born to live in a cooler climate but here in Australia, while some places are definitely hotter than others, in summer there is no such thing as constantly cool. Even here in the mountains where the days are so much cooler than down the mountain, there are still days of extreme heat. I melt. I may have just admitted to being a reincarnation of the Wicked Witch of the West with my rendition of “I’m melting… I’m melting” but that’s my reality.
So add to this, being a middle aged woman with hot flushes, or power surges as I prefer to call them, summer really sucks. A “power surge” is like standing on top of a floor heater vent which is turned off, then suddenly realising some evil person has switched it on to cook you from the feet up. Remember those cartoons of seeing people standing in big pots while cannibals cooked them? Sort of feels like being the boilee! The heat starts at your feet then works it’s way up the body with incredible speed. By the time it gets to your head, your brain is just registering that you’re getting hot. I used to laugh at my mum who always slept with one foot outside the blanket because she said it cooled her down. Suddenly I think she was a genius.
While suffering the horrible heat, woeful warmth and sudden sweat glands in overdrive, who does a middle aged, heat hating, summer scathing woman turn to in these moments of clammy calamity? Superman??? Batman??? Wonderwoman?? The Greatest American Hero??? NO.. Something much more reliable and versatile is here to save the day……. THE SUPER DUPER ZOOPER DOOPER!
These little tubes of flavoured water, frozen in the uppermost compartment of the kitchen fridge are the answer to this middle aged mumma’s prayer. Instant relief! The cold sensation goes straight to the brain, freezing the offending hot flush in it’s tracks. Before you even cut it open to scoff the contents, just holding it on your wrist to cool the blood draws an instant AHHHHH from one’s lips. If the forehead is clammy, just rub the superhero across the clamminess for instant cool. Then cut it open and bite into it and allow the cool to spread right down your poor overheated body, bringing the temperature down to normal again.
They are also fantastic when having to wax your moustache and eyebrows. If like me, you hate waxing so much that to do it yourself, you have to try to sneak up on yourself and do a surprise attack on the offending strips, whack a Zooper Dooper (unopened, any flavour) on the area to be waxed BEFORE you apply the wax. It will numb the area a bit first, hopefully reducing the pain of this particular brand of torture women endure all in the name of beauty.
They are not only the best thing to happen to menopausal women since the discovery of evening primrose, they are versatile for many eras of our lives, from babies to the elderly. There is nothing better for a teething baby than a nice cold teething ring… right?? Well, save your money new Mums and Dads. Let the little one play with one of these little tubes of bliss. No mess if you don’t cut it open for them.. Much easier to fit in the mouth than those stupid shaped teething rings and a whole lot less expensive. Once they finished with it, whack it back in the freezer to refreeze, then have a nice icy snack when the mood strikes. Just remember to hand them the flavours you hate just in case their teeth manage to pierce the plastic. You don’t want to waste the cola and pineapple ones on those whose taste buds haven’t sufficiently developed enough to taste the difference. Oh and wipe their dribble off it before you refreeze it, just in case you forget afterwards.
As the baby moves to toddlers and young children, icy poles on sticks are really hard to try to manage. Wrap a tissue around the base of a Zooper Dooper to protect tiny hands from the cold and let them suck away on the icy taste treats. They are just the right size for little appetites so no waste. They are also so much cleaner to eat, without Mum or Dad having to continually lick the drops off to avoid the mess as with icy poles and ice creams on sticks. Teach them very early though how to push the ice up the tube to save you having to do this constantly for them.
When they head to school, pop one in their lunch to keep it cool. Teach them how to put a tiny pin prick in the tube with a compass or pair of scissors so they can have it as a cool drink if it has melted too much. It serves as a small sweet drink so there is less waste and it has kept their lunch fresh and cool. As an afterschool snack, they give them something to cool them down after a big day at school. Too much sugar you say? One during school and one after school only adds up to about the same as a popper drink you would put in their lunchbox usually so there’s that worry taken away from you.
As the kids get older, a frozen Zooper Dooper works wonders on bumps and bruises and saves you having an ice pack in the freezer. For bigger bumps and bruises, use more Zooper Doopers… easy really. They also help soothe the burn of newly peirced ears, noses and belly buttons. As they start to melt, grab them a more solid one and cut the top off the now thawing one. Instant slushie for them. Try to discourage the use of vodka in them at this age if possible. That treat really should be saved for when you have children of your own and really need all the help you can get.
When they are out partying with friends, nothing beats that “morning after” feel, more than a nice Zooper Dooper. My son walked in this morning after a big night out and the first place he went to was the freezer for one of these easy to eat ice blocks. The interesting thing about them, is they don’t seem to cause brain freeze like so many frozen treats do, so they don’t add to the headache but do remove the dry mouth syndrome associated with late nights with the mates. That little kick of energy is also often enough to get them motivated to do what you want them to do without having to sleep the day away on the couch to recover.
If you want to be really good and drink mainly water but you know you want a little drop of sweetness through the day, pop an unfrozen one into your water bottle, then freeze the bottle. because it sits in the middle it will be the last thing to thaw. Drink all your water then when you feel like a sweet treat, it should be still frozen enough to enjoy and you know you drank the essential water first to get to it. Pat yourself on the back for being so good and hydrated.
Run out of ice for your drink? Pick a flavour that most matches your drink of choice. eg, Vodka and Orange? Break up an orange quadrant and voila….. instant ice cubes that don’t melt and dilute the flavour. Blackberry nip and lemonade (yes I am showing my age now) choose a blackcurrant Phaser Zooper Dooper and use it as a swizzle stick. Not just tasty but useful for stirring your drink too. Scotch and Coke? Well this choose is easy, Cola Cosmos of course. Anything like Midori which gives you a more tropical feeling? Try Deep Space Lime, or Space Pineapple. They will add to the tropic fest. Ouzo and Coke? Here’s something you may not have thought of…. Add a Raspberry Rocket to it and you have the flavour of a black jelly bean.. yummmm. I really can’t think of anyway to enjoy the Fairy Floss Force Field or Bubblegum Quaser flavours but they are best left to the kiddies or for when visitors arrive and are too polite to say those flavours taste like air freshener. However in saying that, I know people who prefer those two flavours to the other far superior ones. Go figure.
As you get older and have more trouble chewing, crush them a bit before you open them, it makes them easier to eat. They are also fantastic as a frozen splint for sore fingers and toes. They provide the ice and the support all in one taste delight. Just put the straightest one you can find in the freezer, against the offending digit, then wrap a bandage around both. Keep updating as they start to thaw. It provides nourishment (as you eat the thawing ones) and medical treatment at the same time. How ingenious.
I really can’t speak highly enough of these little tubes of delight. I used to buy them when my kids were little but they were the generic brands. They came in strips of 5, all attached so you had to cut them in between the flavours which resulted in many spillages due to unstraight cutting. You always had to freeze first to avoid cutting into the tubes and then you risked frostbite cutting them once they were frozen. The flavours weren’t only not as nice, they didn’t have space names, in fact they had no names. I buy a lot of generic brand groceries but some things are too important to skimp on. These are one.
There are other packets of the same brand but with different flavour combinations you can buy, but I can’t bring myself to eat most of them.. I mean, Jaffa Jetstream, Beaming Banana, Galactic Grape and some bizarre Toffee Apple flavour that I can’t remember the name of.. No thank you. I’ll stick to the usual space flavours and let others eat the Fairy Floss and Bubblegum ones that come with the packet.
Such is their popularity, you can even go onto Ebay and buy holders for them if a tissue wrapped around them isnt your idea of keeping your hands frost free. You can even get them personalised with your name on them. So cool hey..
Happy chilling… Livvy 🙂