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Your Mother is always with you. She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself.  She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well, she’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day.  She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.  Your mother lives inside your laughter. She’s the place you came from, your first home, and shes the map you follow with every step you take.  She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space, not even death. ……….. Author Unknown.

May is always a hard month for me.. It starts on May 1st which is my daughter’s birthday and it’s so hard not be able to celebrate it with her anymore.  The 27th May is the anniversary of her death which always brings with it the same sadness, though not as overwhelming as it once was.  And smack bang in the middle of those two dates is Mother’s Day, here in Australia at least.

My Mum was my rock and my best friend.  I don’t remember ever not  thinking that the sun rose and set around her.  I know most of my brothers and sisters felt the same.  You may say, “oh everyone feels that about their mother” but even through the teen years, I worshiped the ground she walked on. She had me late in life and was only 21 days off turning 40 when I was born.

I was 11th of 12 children, but she always made me feel like I was a blessing.  She was the strongest and bravest person I know.  She came to live with us about 2 years before Dad died.  He knew he was dying and didn’t want her to be alone.  It suited me.. I was at her place all the time anyway as I hated not being able to see her on a daily basis.  If I didn’t go over for a day, she would come to my place.  She adored me as much as I adored her.  I was the youngest girl and the next 4 kids up from me were all boys.  I think she finally had the time to just enjoy one of her girls.  After Dad died, we did so much more together and became even closer.

She was funny, sweet, mature, childlike, strong, fragile, crazy and amazing.  I miss her giggle.. I miss her quiet assurance that everything would be okay.  I miss her amazing cooking.  I miss her crooked little finger sticking out as she waved goodbye.  I miss the smell of Johnson’s baby powder mixed with Mum cream deodorant.  I miss the way she thought a cup of tea could cure anything.. I miss being able to pick up the phone and call her and tell her what just happened in my day.  Most of all I just miss HER..  I miss her with all my heart.  I know that my 3 favorite girls of all time, my grandmother Gargie, Mum and Aimee will all be together but  I wish they could celebrate it here with me.

I was extremely lucky to have had the life I had with Mum. To be able to have your Mum as your best friend is a real blessing.  One of the greatest privileges of my life was holding her in my arms while she crossed over to a kinder shore, into the arms of her own mother and my beautiful Aimee.  She held me as I took my first breath and I held her while she took her last.  Life comes full circle which is how it’s supposed to be.  I just wish it wasn’t.

I’m looking on facebook at the amount of us, of all different ages who have lost their Mums and it’s a feeling that never leaves you. We all wish we could have our Mums back for one last hug but it still wouldn’t be enough.  It could never be enough. Our Mum’s are our heroes.  They give us life, they protect us from the world and they teach us right from wrong.  The sing us to sleep, they know what’s wrong with us without us ever saying a word.  They know when we are hurt and their pain is even worse than ours because they never want us to feel any.  Mum’s are angels here on earth for too short a period of time, sent to teach us love.

If your Mum is still alive.. make sure you let her know how special she is to you.  We only get one and they are more precious than all the gold in the world. They are irreplaceable.  It’s only when you no longer have her that you’ll realise what a massive hole she will leave in your life when she leaves you.  Don’t leave any room for regrets.. Make the most of her now, while she is still here with you.   If, like me, your Mum is no longer here to hug.. find someone else.. anyone.. even a stranger in the street.. and hug them.. I know your Mum will feel it from afar.

At this time of year in Australia, we  have Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea to raise money for the Cancer Council.  Mum died of cancer.  I wish we could eradicate this stinking disease so no other person has to watch their mum go through the pain, the indignity and the slow death.  Last year, i made this slideshow for one of the morning teas being held in Victoria.  I have shown it here before but if you haven’t seen it, here it is again.  Click on the link underneath the photo. It will take you to it.   Anything we can do to cure cancer is a step closer to Mum’s living for longer.

Mum… I miss you.. I love you.. and I thank you for being you.  You epitomised what being a mother was all about.  I will always be your little girl..

Happy Mother’s Day.. Livvy xxxx

Mum & Aimee

Australia’s biggest morning tea

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